Changing Your Identity: How to Rewrite Your Life Narrative for Success - Part 1

What will it be?

If you've struggled with something in the past, it is a common human tendency to automatically

assume that you are the same person who still has that same struggle today. And if you carry around an assumption about who you are, then you automatically align your actions to that version of yourself that you believe yourself to be.

This all happens automatically...subconsciously....below your radar.

90% of the thoughts you think today are the same thoughts you thought yesterday and the day before and the day before.

Same thoughts created by your mental blueprint = same behaviors = same life. 

Your brain makes a mental model/framework/blueprint of who you think you are, and then all your behaviors stem from that identity, even if you don't prefer that version of yourself. It's a mental shortcut that your brain uses to savew energy, but this mental shortcut can also be extremely frustrating when you are trying to improve or change yourself.

It's also one reason why...

• you aspire to be more mindful at work, but find yourself still judging clients and venting in the treatment room when faced with difficult situations or people.

• you sabotage yourself with food when you are trying to lose excess fat, and then beat yourself up for it. Or you lose weight and then gain it back.

• you mindlessly scroll on TikTok when you wake up instead of executing your desired morning routine.

• you decide to stop drinking alcohol, but you still desire it, and eventually fall off the wagon.

• you resolve to read more or go to the gym to improve your fitness, but can't ever seem to find the time.

The dissonance occurs because your desire for newness is clashing with the old, conditioned version of yourself that is running your show. Your blueprint of who you think you are doesn't match with who you want to be, and that creates inner conflict.

You are fighting yourself, which is exhausting and a recipe for frustration, failure, and more stuckness. BLEH.

To Change on the Outside You Must Change Who You Are on the Inside

To experience lasting change, you have to rewrite the blueprint, aka the narrative of your life. It's all about mindset, baby.

So, next time you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to fall back into old habits or patterns that you no longer want, or you want to give in and throw in the towel, try saying to yourself, "But that's not who I am anymore."

The next time you start subconsciously sabotaging a relationship, project, or goal because at a base level you don't think you are good enough or worthy enough, or you are afraid of love or success, remind yourself,

"That's not who I am anymore."

The next time you really want to vent to a coworker about a dickish client, or you silently judge somebody who does not follow your veterinary recommendations or has different political beliefs, remind yourself,

"That's not who I am anymore."

The next time you want to numb your emotions with food or substances because you had a bad day and you really need that dopamine hit that food gives you, remind yourself,

"That's not who I am anymore."

The next time you are tempted to blow up at a coworker because they did that thing again, remind yourself,

"That's not who I am anymore."

The next time you are tempted to skip the gym or the stupid walk for your stupid mental health, remind yourself,

"That's not who I am anymore."

Something I learned from James Allen, author of As a Man Thinketh, was that in this life we don't get what we want. We get what we ARE. That is why it is critical to remind yourself as often as necessary, 'that's not who I am anymore,' when you are tempted to revert to old, not-so-helpful habits.

Ingrained habits, especially ones that give you dopamine hits or temporary external validation, can be really tough to break because they feel good in the moment. In the beginning, you will likely have to remind yourself

"That's not who I am anymore," a LOT, especially when you are faced with external stimuli that trigger your old habits.

And when I say a A LOT, I do mean A LOT. Every hour, every 10 minutes, every time you feel triggered to go back to your old schtick, every dang minute of every dang day until you believe you aren't that person anymore. You are training yourself and creating new neural connections, and those new habits/neural connections will need a lot of positive reinforcement to stick. This does take self-discipline, but remember you are your greatest project you will ever work on.

Setting up visual reminders throughout the day can be helpful so you don't fall asleep to your past conditioning. This can include:

• hourly reminders on your phone

• taping "That's not who I am anymore," to your bathroom mirror or anywhere else you need to see it

• asking trusted family or friends to help you remember when they see you making choices from your old patterns

You can also utilize the services of a licensed behavioral therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, and even hypnosis to help you. I found it extremely helpful to work with a therapist to dissolve some of my own past conditioning that was getting in the way of my success and happiness.

If you would like to take your story to the next level, then keep reading part 2 of this blog series on rewriting your narrative. It's worth it...I promise.

From our slightly scandalous hearts to yours,

Sarah J. Wooten, DVM, CVJ and the Vets Against Insanity Crew 😆