Do you experience guilt on a regular basis?
Do you feel like you're not doing enough or being enough or whatever floofin' makes you feel the creep of guilt into your otherwise glorious mental space?
Experiencing guilt is not uncommon for veterinary professionals, especially in situations where we think we could have done better. However, it's essential to recognize that guilt isn't always rational and may stem from factors beyond one's control. Furthermore, maladaptive guilt negatively impacts both your mental wellbeing and happiness. It could also be argued that it negatively impacts your physical health as well.
For veterinary professionals, chronic guilt can also be intertwined with various mental health conditions. Guilt can manifest as a symptom of depression, especially if feelings of worthlessness accompany it. Vet professionals may experience guilt as a symptom of secondary trauma from difficult cases or situations. If you score high in empathy, then you are at higher risk of feeling guilty when you don't need to.
Additionally, childhood experiences of guilt or worthlessness may amplify self-blame tendencies, impacting professional confidence and overall wellbeing. Seeking support from mental health professionals specialized in addressing veterinary-related stressors can provide valuable guidance in navigating these complex emotions and memories.
Recognizing Maladaptive Guilt
We all know that feeling short-term guilt can be helpful in some situations, such as when it motivates you to stop bad behaviors or patterns that harm you or others - short-term guilty thoughts and feelings can be corrective if you listen to them and change your behavior.
What you may not know is that if you engage in guilt enough or struggle with unworthiness or people pleasing, feeling guilty can become a constant, negative state of being. 🥺
When this happens it is considered maladaptive - aka it doesn't help. Psychologists use the term 'maladaptive guilt' to differentiate from normal guilt that stems from wrongdoing. Some signs of maladaptive guilt include:
Experiencing constant guilt despite your efforts to rectify mistakes or improve.
Experience guilt that is disconnected from actions. Guilt should typically be linked to specific actions or decisions. If guilt arises without clear causation, it may signify underlying anxiety or cognitive distortions.
Disproportionate, overwhelming guilt over minor errors or unavoidable outcomes may indicate deeper issues affecting mental health and happiness.
Feeling guilty or responsible for circumstances beyond your control, such as patient outcomes, may suggest maladaptive guilt and a need for self-compassion.
Paralysis and Inaction: Guilt that immobilizes rather than motivating positive change may hinder professional growth and wellbeing, warranting intervention.
Identifying the Root Causes of Veterinary Guilt
If you've noticed that you identify with any of the above signs, then you might be struggling with maladaptive guilt. And while that sucks, it is also helpful to know because now you can take action to resolve guilt feelings that are NOT serving you or your loved ones.
One aspect of taking action is to ponder what could be at the root of your maladaptive guilty tendencies. Take a look at the following list of possible causes of maladaptive guilt:
Guilt from Internalized Childhood Manipulation or Trauma, aka I blame my mother
Early experiences of guilt or low self-esteem may shape professional attitudes and behaviors. If you were conditioned to feel like you were a 'bad kid' or you have other fun baggage from your childhood, it may manifest as an adult who always feels guilty.
Intrusive Thoughts
Excessive guilt may contribute to or worsen existing OCD, including intrusive thoughts (automatic negative thoughts - ANTs) or obsessions that lead to unwanted behaviors or compulsions. In veterinary practice, OCD-related guilt may stem from intrusive thoughts or obsessive revisiting of past mistakes, impeding effective decision-making in the current moment.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Veterinary professionals may experience guilt associated with traumatic events, necessitating support to process and overcome.
Depression
Chronic guilt intertwined with feelings of worthlessness may indicate underlying depression, requiring professional intervention.
It almost goes without saying but these are all mental health concerns that require the assistance of a mental health professional. If you think you fall into any of these categories, get thee to a mental health therapist, post haste.
Strategies for Letting Go of Veterinary Guilt
The following is a list of strategies that you can use to release guilt that is no longer serving your highest good. Of course, the first step is realizing you are worthy to release guilt (YOU ARE), you are a good person (clearly, because you a reading this blog), and you deserve to live a life filled with good feelings. Giving yourself permission to heal is often the first crucial step.
Identify Triggers:
Recognize situations that consistently evoke feelings of guilt. Understanding the root causes behind your guilt can provide clarity. Determine whether you hold genuine responsibility for the situation or if the guilt stems from factors beyond your control.
Cultivate Self-Awareness:
Enhance your self-awareness by reflecting on instances where you dwell on what you "should have" or "could have" done differently. Assess whether these thoughts align with your personal beliefs and values or if they are influenced by external expectations from society, family, or peers.
Express Emotions:
Acknowledging and vocalizing feelings of guilt within a supportive environment can alleviate emotional burdens and promote healing.
Rational Reflection:
Examining guilt-inducing situations objectively can help veterinary professionals challenge irrational thoughts and cultivate self-compassion.
Making Amends:
Taking constructive steps to address past mistakes or repair relationships can foster closure and facilitate professional growth.
Journaling:
Engage in journaling as a means to explore and understand your emotions better. Writing down your thoughts and experiences can facilitate self-awareness and help pinpoint specific triggers contributing to feelings of guilt.
Open Communication:
If guilt arises from actions or perceived wrongdoings towards others, consider initiating an open and honest conversation with the individual involved. Expressing your feelings and seeking resolution can alleviate the burden of guilt. Alternatively, confiding in a trusted friend can offer perspective and support.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Prioritize self-compassion as a fundamental strategy. Acknowledge that making mistakes is a universal aspect of the human experience. Also remember that it is called veterinary practice and not veterinary perfect for a reason. Being harsh or critical towards yourself cannot alter the past. Embrace self-compassion as a means of fostering acceptance and forgiveness towards oneself.
Learn and Grow:
Embrace a mindset of growth and resilience by viewing mistakes as opportunities for learning and personal development. Reflect on past experiences to glean valuable insights and avoid repeating similar patterns in the future. Utilize lessons learned to navigate future challenges with greater wisdom and awareness.
Get Professional Support:
Engaging with mental health professionals specializing in veterinary-related stressors can provide tailored interventions to address maladaptive guilt and promote holistic wellbeing. If you can't find a person with that training, then a mental health professional who utilizes self compassion and cognitive behavioral therapy would do just fine. Adulting is hard. There is no shame in therapy. Get help if you need it.
👉 Remember that guilt is often from deeply ingrained societal expectations that are, by the way, made up. HUMNAS LOVE THEIR FUCKERY.
👉 You can only do what you can do, and you ability to do changes based on a zillion factors every day.
👉 You are a perfectly imperfect human being, you are doing the best you can, and it is enough.
👉 All you have to do today is just be here.
Bottom line: give yourself a freakin' break, bestie. 😘
While guilt may serve as a natural response to challenging situations in veterinary practice, persistent and overwhelming guilt can detrimentally impact mental health and happiness. By recognizing signs of maladaptive guilt, identifying underlying causes, implementing effective coping strategies, and getting help when you need it, veterinary professionals can cultivate resilience, self-compassion, and overall wellbeing in their professional and personal lives.
From our slightly scandalous hearts to yours,
Sarah J. Wooten, DVM, CVJ and the VAI Crew 😆
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